


Come back, I still need you.

by Morlemia_R



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Friendship, Gen, Lost Love, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship, Sister-Sister Relationship, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 20:06:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14838329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morlemia_R/pseuds/Morlemia_R
Summary: When Padmé Amidala died, Anakin wasn’t the only person she left behind. Or, five people who called out to Padmé and the one who was answered.





	Come back, I still need you.

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the song Hold On, which inspired the whole plot of this fic. I highly recommend listening to it while you read.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ofCZObsnOo

I.

Obi-Wan can't help but feel a little hurt when the droid informs him that She’s lost the will to live.

 

_ Did Anakin truly mean so much to her?  _ He asks himself all through her death and all through her funeral. Now, as he lives quietly in an inhumane desert, his thoughts turn to her again. Of their friendship and how she had been one of the few people that he felt understood things like he did. She had been sensible, she got through to Anakin when he could not.  _ Not in the end. _

 

But when the worst had fallen on them all, she had left him behind to mourn on his own, as everyone seemed to do. Some nights he lays in bed and feels almost jealous that she could leave so easily.

 

_ I still wanted you, Padmé. You didn’t lose everything to Him. _

 

Years later as he stares at a glowering red lightsaber and sees Luke call out to him, he understands. He understands that sometimes leaving someone behind isn’t really leaving at all. It’s freeing yourself to be with them always.

 

II.

_ Why? Why wasn’t I there? Why was she alone?  _ Those are the thoughts that plague Sabé when she is presented with her dead mistresses body by Bail Organa. Hushed words about making her seem pregnant and how she was killed tragically, how no one must know.   _ We were always together. Why weren’t we in this? _

 

She thinks of their fights together and their fights at each other. Each went hand in hand, because everytime one of them got hurt the other responded with panic. It had led to Sabé being excused from her duties as a handmaiden.

 

_ "All us handmaidens risk our lives for you. Why do you care more about mine?"  _ Sabé would yell and Padmé would stare and whisper; " _ Because."  _ That was all that needed to be said.

 

She is buried in blue, the color of water. Sabé remembers the way she used to splash in it with all of them, all the handmaidens. Again she wonders why she was alone.

 

Seventeen years later she sees the Princess of Alderaan speak out against injustice. She doesn’t know, can never know, but she understands. Padmé wasn't alone; in her final moments, she wasn't alone.

 

III.

Nothing can compare to the pain of losing a child, but Sola thinks losing a younger sister is just as hard.

 

Her _pregnant_ younger sister. It makes her wonder how much she missed, how little they spoke near the end. She wonders why. Growing up, they had been close through all of Padmé’s training to be a senator. When they grew apart because of her work, Sola had told herself they would make up for the time.

 

Now she wonders if that was the right choice.

 

She tells her children tales of Padmé her sister, Padmé the aunt. Tales where she brought gifts and cared for skinned-knees, the way she would later put band-aids over whole worlds. And as Padmé the Senator seems to fade from their blackening history, she clings to memories and tells herself,  _ it mattered.  _ **_She_ ** _ mattered, her work mattered, it wasn’t for nothing. People loved her, they still do. _

 

But as the years pass, she realizes who else cared for her sister isn't really important.  _ She  _ cared for her. Padmé Naberrie mattered to them all.

 

IV.

He sees Her in Leia the more she grows. He hears Her words when he speaks in the senate. He feels Her presence when the rebellion is gathered out before him. 

 

_ My old friend. We could have done so much more with you by my side,  _ Bail thinks and he tries everyday to make up for her being gone. He misses her in his meetings with Mon, he misses her when he and Breha sit up late into the night, trying to hide their tracks of participation in an uprising. He raises Leia and wonders if She is pleased with the way he cares for Her daughter. 

 

They were colleagues. But more importantly, they were friends.

 

It breaks his heart when Leia asks who he speaks of when he talks of his old friends on Naboo, and he has to reply; “No one, Leia, no one.”

 

He knows Padmé would care more about protecting her daughter than carrying on Her memory. 

 

V.

Leia never consciously thinks about her birth parents, but sometimes she finds herself dreaming about her birth mother. Never a clear image, just a beautiful face, reaching out to stroke her hair with tears in her eyes. Leia doesn’t tell her parents. It doesn’t matter.

 

Sometimes she thinks she even has memories of her mother. She knows that’s impossible, but they are there all the same. Memories of pain and hope all mixed together, leaving Leia with an ache in her heart.

 

When she is older and Luke is telling her Vader is her father, she can’t help but think of her mother and wonder what the truth is. She thinks of how sad she was and wonders if she always was. 

 

_ Abandoned.  _ That word echoes somehow when she wonders.

 

Luke learns the truth from Obi-Wan. He tells her their mother loved them but she died anyway. Leia feels angry and hurt and left behind but she doesn’t understand why. She doesn’t think of her mother for awhile after that until her own son turns to the darkside, and suddenly she understands.

 

She thinks of Padmé a lot after that.

 

\+ VI.

 

Luke is always thinking of who his father is, wanting to be like his father, wondering what his father was like. His mother never even comes to his mind until his hand is gone and the monster that is Vader informs him that all his dreams are shattered, that  _ he _ is his father.

 

He has visions. _Padmé._ Aunt Beru had told him that was her name. _What happened?_  He looks for her, on the holonet, in the force but he has nothing but a name. No face, no memory. He can’t find her. She is gone.

 

When he’s on the ground and the emperor’s lightning is shocking him, he calls to his father. His father seems not to listen, but he tries over and over. It’s not until the pain gets too great for him to even scream that he thinks of Her.

 

_ Mother. Mother. _

 

The emperor dies, Anakin returns. And when he is left alone with his father's body and nothing but tears, he feels her; maybe Ben would say it’s impossible, that She couldn’t do that without Jedi abilities. But Luke knows what he feels.

 

_ My son, my son. No one is ever truly gone.  _ She seems to whisper.

 

He whispers those same words years later, and he knows they are true.

 

End.

**Author's Note:**

> This was not the fic I expected to post first, but it just sort of happened. Hopefully as I get used to actually sharing my work, I will have more going up, but until then, I hope you all enjoyed. 
> 
> -Morlemia


End file.
